I am one lazy human being; I might as well confess that right off. It’s the reason I don’t do a lot of things that I want to do, like posting here daily, or starting that novel, or going back for my masters or filling the sugar bowl that just has a half a teaspoon left inside. I’m just too lazy.
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\nOh, I can make up excuses like I’m too busy, and I really am. But deep down inside I’m nearly comatose. It’s very easy for me to get lackadaisical about just about anything. I’m a great coaster, and it’s worked for me so far.<\/p>\n
I’ve had many people tell me that I’m a hard worker and even a workaholic. Please. I only do that stuff so I can hurry up and be lazy again.<\/p>\n
But before you pass judgement against the lazy (and if you do then that means that your anti-lazy and that’s just as bad) let’s just talk for a minute about lazy people and what they’ve done for this wonderful land of ours.<\/p>\n
Eli Whitney<\/a> was a most notable lazy person, as was Isaac Singer<\/a>. Washing machines, dish washers, CD players were all the products developed by lazy people.<\/p>\n I mean, a person can get very tired beating a buttoned-down oxford cloth dress shirt against a rock, and then having to scrub, rinse and dry the dinner plates by hand – oh, and not to mention flipping that record over and putting the needle in just the right groove.<\/p>\n Yes, the next time you move your mouse around thank a lazy person at Xerox PARC<\/a>\u00a0– beats hunting and pecking after a C prompt anyday.<\/p>\n I don’t know what I can do to break this lazy streak or even if I should. I mean, there are many benefits to being lazy, as I’ve just mentioned, but the jury is out over whether those outweigh procrastination, alienation of affection, or leaving the toilet paper roll empty.<\/p>\n \u00a0And to those of you who have seen me in action (not inaction) and would counter my claim to being a lethargy artist, let me just state that you probably witnessed me in an act of overcompensation. It appears that my laziness is tempered by a healthy guilty conscious. Thank you, Mom, for sending me to the nuns for schooling. It was very difficult to maintain my unindustrious nature at St. Edmund’s Elementary with Sister Mary Barbara and her “board of education<\/a>“. I think it was there that I perfected my “busy” look.<\/p>\n \u00a0The irony is that I expend a lot of energy to maintain my laggard lifestyle, energy that could probably be spent being productive. But that is exactly what frightens me: if I’m productive then the product of my efforts may require even more energy to maintain, so this slothful status quo is just fine with me, regardless of how hard I have to work to maintain it.<\/p>\n