I looked at a pack of beef jerkey yesterday. I mean looked, as in coveted. Now, I’m a medium fan of beef jerkey; good beef jerkey, that is. It’s almost fat-free and tastes pretty good. But yesterday was Friday, in Lent, and I’m practicing being a Catholic. I say practicing because after five decades I still ain’t got it completely right.

So today I went back to the store and bought the pack. Oh, I could have bought it yesterday without consequence. I’m sure the rule says not to eat, but doesn’t really address procurement. Anyway, I’m gnawing on a piece as I write this sitting in front of the public library leeching their free wireless.

But really, what’s the deal? This is South Louisiana – Cajun country. Meatless Fridays here are like not eating the Brazil nuts in a big can of Planter’s Mixed Nuts. You can munch away on the cashews, walnuts and hazelnuts while happily ignoring the forbidden.

We’re the home of crawfish etouffee, shrimp creole and blackened redfish. Fridays in my youth meant fried shrimp, and lots of it. OK, we had to suffer with tuna fish sandwiches during the day, but well-fried catfish fillets or fresh caught pan-fried perch was not something to tolerate while missing round steaks or hot dogs.

The Knight of Columbus at the local church has a fish-fry on Fridays, as I’m sure most of them do. It’s a fund-raiser for them while helping their fellow brethren (and sistren?) keep their faith by keeping their fast. We got a couple of plates last night, and it was good. A little potato salad and slaw, nice garlic bread and about five golden strips of flaky, delectable church-approved non-meat.

I’m still not entirely sure why we don’t eat meat. I might be wrong, but I think vegetarians put fish in the same column as beef, pork and poultry. I guess to be technical the Church says we can’t eat mammals. Yeah, that must be right because we also shun whale and porpoise from the menu on Fridays.

I think it’s a safety net, myself, you know, for those who forgot to give up something for Lent – people like me. Well, I didn’t forget, I’m just not a big giver-upper – not a fan of artificial sacrifice.

Once, many years ago, the whole family gave up red meat for Lent. Yep, all seven weeks without beef or pork. Poultry was OK, and, of course, seafood. I got by just fine with shrimp, catfish, even fish sticks, but I became awfully tired of chicken – kung pao, General Tsao, fricassee, grilled, fried, nuggetized, fingers (???), I keep hearing that last phrase voiced by Bubba Blue, but Bubba Gump Chicken Co. just doesn’t look as good on a souvenir cap. So, I guess foregoing the petite filet or smoked brisket was somewhat of a sacrifice. But that didn’t stop us from moaning and groaning, and that’s my point – griping defeats the purpose of the sacrifice in the first place.

I have been on real fasts before, completely shunning major sustenance. I didn’t do it as a cleansing effort, but more for personal development. The hunger pangs wouldn’t make me angry, but they would help put my mind on the purpose of the fast. Call it organic rosary beads: hear the churn, say a prayer.

So Fridays will continue to be meat-free until Easter. But I have to admit it’s more in tradition than actual duty or even sacrifice. I’ll probably have to go to confession for that one. Oh, wait… don’t get me started.

• The hunter as prey
• Is it me or is it tiring in here?

Categories: Bordering closely on religion