As an online director I get my share of email requests to put certain things on our websites. Usually, when a request for ad placement comes along I forward it to the advertising staff, but something made me curious when I received a note from Pete Smith to place a classified ad:

Subject: pet enquiry
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 2009 08:22:43 -0400
From: peter smith <petersmith200@gmail.com>
Hello,
I am writing to place an ad for pet and I want it online and in newspaper. I can make prepayment with a credit
card. Please email me back and let me know what you need for my ad.
HERE IS MY AD COPY : AKC registered puppies, 2 yorkie terrier, current shorts and play along with children and other animals. contact (PETERSMITH200@GMAIL.COM ) for more information.
Above is my ad copy and i will like the ad to run for just 7 days in all your pappers and online.
The reason why i want to give the dogs away is because, i’m relocating to a new apartment and my new landlord does not accept animal so i have to find a good home for them.
I await your email.
Thank yo

OK, I’ll bite. What’s the puppy racket?

Re: pet inquiry
On 8/20/09, Tom C <—> wrote:
Mr. Smith,
Actually, my mother-in-law is very interested in your Yorkies. Could you tell me their ages and if they have been embedded with a microchip. She would also like to know what the fee is to transfer the registration papers.
She lives alone in a house with a yard, however, she would like to keep them inside, so please respond if they are housebroken.
I am at 600 Jefferson St in Lafayette. Would it be possible to visit and see the puppies?
Thanks,
Tom C

Wait for it… wait for it….

Subject: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 2009 08:08:02 -0700
From: peter smith <petersmith200@gmail.com>
To: Tom C <—>
hello
thanks for email tell her to email me by her self so that we can talk about the Yorkies if she can really take good care of them for me my email Adress PETERSMITH43@YAHOO.COM THANKS god bless you
peter

OK, so far, not too bad. I just saved him the price of a classified ad – except for the fact that my mother-in-law, whose name is not Regina, no more wants a dog than the man-in-the-moon, but we’ll see how far it goes. Also, my MIL doesn’t even own a computer much less have an email address, but I can solve that problem with a free email address.

So let me tell “Ma” about what I found.

Subject: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 2009 10:11:54 -0500
From: TomC
To: regina@email.com
Ma,
This is the gentleman who has the Yorkies we talked about this morning. I do not know where he lives, but perhaps you can send him an email and get more information. I’d rather if you handle it, but if you have any questions please call me.
Love,
Tom

Well, Mom seems quite excited about getting some free puppies. But there’s a little pang in her conscience, and apparently she’s the only one who has one.

FW: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Thu 8/20/09 8:33 AM
To: petersmith200@gmail.com; petersmith43@yahoo.com
Dear Mr. Smith,
Thank you for responding to my son-in-law so quickly. He mentioned the puppies this morning when he dropped off his children. I usually take the children to school on my way to work.
I had a pair of Yorkies almost 40 years ago when my husband and I were first married. I lost one at five years but the other lived over 12 years. I would love to see the puppies whenever it’s convenient with you. As for caring for them that will not be a problem as I am quite active and have been since my husband’s death two years ago. I enjoy physical activity and since I retired from the sheriff’s department I have access to their gym facilities.
I live near Lafayette High School. Are the puppies within driving distance? I would like to see them on Saturday if possible. Where are you located?
Do you have a phone number where I can reach you?
What are the sexes of the dogs and their approximate ages. Are they from the same litter? Are they chipped yet? I am a firm believer in those computer chips. My cat has one, and I made sure my daughter had one put in her poodle.
I see you want to give them away however I think you should be at least compensated for the medical care and registration so far, so I would be willing to cover those costs.
Please write me back at your earliest convenience because I am quite anxious to see the dogs.
Warmest regards,
Regina T

—

AWAITING FOR RESPONSE WRITE BACK?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Fri 8/21/09 3:07 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Hello
Thank you very much and i’m very very happy to read from you about your response on taking good care of the babies. they are 11weeks old and both home trained and outdoor trained also playful with other animals and kids. The male named (bobby) weigh 2lbs and the female named (prissy) weigh 2.5lbs and will weigh big when fully grown. they are both A K C registered and shots are given up to date and both home trained. both of them are my darling sweetheart and super spoiled! They both have a sweet personality and loves to play and be carried around.But i’m very sorry to tell you that it is too late for you to get the babies now. What really happened was that i just left the state for africa in some few days ago . So i got a missionary call from our missionary head quaters in africa, then i have to bring the babies along with me here in africa since i couldn’t find someone to adopt them before i left the state. I’m still willing to give the babies out to someone who can take very good care of them for me forever.
All papers will accompany the puppies when shipped to you, Due to our long staying over here in africa , and the bad weather my Wife and I have concluded to get good home and care for our babies. We are not charging or selling them to you for money but to save thier lifes saved and care for them so this means that, you and i will be paying for the shipment of the puppies to you. they are VET checked, but right now we are in Africa on a Christian mission with my wife and 3 kids together with bobby and prissy, we have the puppies right here with us.We are going to ship to you via a Diplomatic Courier Service Company with Express Delivery on next day delivery, if you are really interested in having my little babies, i will like you to get back to me with the Below information i can find out shipping to your Nearest Airport and we both responsible for the shipping
Your Full Name :
Your Mailing Address:
Your Tel #:
Your Cel Phone #:
The Nearest Airport To You:
I’ve attached pics of bobby/ prissy and my family. Please if you know that you are not capable of taking very good care of my babies, do not reply me because i am giving them out because of bad condition and we’re spending months for the christian mission and i don’t want bobby and prissy, to die in this bad weather. And because we don’t have time to take care of them due to the missionary work before us here. They are priceless to me,therefore i am giving both for free . Please i want you to promise me that you will take very good care of them as soon as they get to you. Thank you and God bless you and your family.
Regards,
rev smith

What a wonderful family! I wonder who they are? Uh oh, small children. I’ll bet they’ll miss Bobby & Prissy when they’re gone. Aren’t they adorable?

Re: FW: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Sat 8/22/09 10:16 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello ma
are you not any more interested in get my puppies pls fill the form that i gave to you i went to the shiping company and they said that they will ship the puppies to you and it will cost $700, i and my wife have discuss that any amount that you can afford that will come up with the rest because we dont want the puppies to keep on surrfring here any more and the weather here in west african is very bad for their health.
Do get back to to me asap today so that we can proceed from there.
regards
smith
—
RE: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Sat 8/22/09 1:34 PM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Dear Mr. Smith,
I am sorry that you had to leave so quickly before I could see the puppies. Please do not ship the puppies as I am afraid that the return trip would be much worse for their health than the African weather. Coincidentally, I was a missionary in Kokofu, West Ghana over forty years ago, and believe me, the weather in South Louisiana is almost identical: humid and hot!
I had assumed you were local to the Lafayette area as I am only interested in animals from close by. I do not believe in transporting pets long distances.
I didn’t realize you had young children; had I known I would have been reluctant to take the Yorkies, but I am certain they are glad to bring their pets with them.
May Christ’s love be with you in the mission field.
Regards,
Regina T

—

RE: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Sun 8/23/09 7:37 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello Regina T”
i can asure you that nothing will do them over there i believe it will be better for them to come over there than here that is why i want them to leave africa dont worry i know they cant die in that your country please save their lives please dont think this is a scam beacuse i know how people get their money so please just come up with any amount you have
THANKS
GOD BLESS

Well, he hasn’t heard anything from the old lady in a while, so let’s hit up son-in-law and see if he can stoke the flames.

Subject: reply me back.
From: peter smith <petersmith200@gmail.com>
Sent: Sat, 22 Aug 2009 08:58:15 -0700
To: tomc
hello,tom
pls i dont see your mother inlaw to reply me back or you are the one inchange,
this what i reply to her.
Thank you very much and i’m very very happy to read from you about your response on taking good care of the babies. they are 11weeks old and both home trained and outdoor trained also playful with other animals and kids. The male named (bobby) weigh 2lbs and the female named (prissy) weigh 2.5lbs and will weigh big when fully grown. they are both A K C registered and shots are given up to date and both home trained. both of them are my darling sweetheart and super spoiled! They both have a sweet personality and loves to play and be carried around.But i’m very sorry to tell you that it is too late for you to get the babies now. What really happened was that i just left the state for africa in some few days ago . So i got a missionary call from our missionary head quaters in africa, then i have to bring the babies along with me here in africa since i couldn’t find someone to adopt them before i left the state. I’m still willing to give the babies out to someone who can take very good care of them for me forever.
All papers will accompany the puppies when shipped to you, Due to our long staying over here in africa , and the bad weather my Wife and I have concluded to get good home and care for our babies. We are not charging or selling them to you for money but to save thier lifes saved and care for them so this means that, you and i will be paying for the shipment of the puppies to you. they are VET checked, but right now we are in Africa on a Christian mission with my wife and 3 kids together with bobby and prissy, we have the puppies right here with us.We are going to ship to you via a Diplomatic Courier Service Company with Express Delivery on next day delivery, if you are really interested in having my little babies, i will like you to get back to me with the Below information i can find out shipping to your Nearest Airport and we both responsible for the shipping
Your Full Name :
Your Mailing Address:
Your Tel #:
Your Cel Phone #:
The Nearest Airport To You:
I’ve attached pics of bobby/ prissy and my family. Please if you know that you are not capable of taking very good care of my babies, do not reply me because i am giving them out because of bad condition and we’re spending months for the christian mission and i don’t want bobby and prissy, to die in this bad weather. And because we don’t have time to take care of them due to the missionary work before us here. They are priceless to me,therefore i am giving both for free . Please i want you to promise me that you will take very good care of them as soon as they get to you. Thank you and God bless you and your family.
Regards,
rev smith

Being the dutiful son-in-law trying to make points with wife’s Mom, I give it a little push.

Re: reply me back.?
From: Tom C (—)
Sent: Sun 8/23/09 9:01 AM
To: peter smith (petersmith200@gmail.com); regina@email.com
Gina,
Don’t know if your email is working, but I received this message from the fellow with the Yorkies. It looks like they couldn’t wait, so I’m thinking they do not want to run the ads. I have no idea where in Africa they are going but it looks like there’s no place for puppies there. Anyway, they will probably be quarantined for six weeks, so that’s probably why they want to send them back to the States.
You might want to write him and tell him if you’re interested or not.
I’ll see you this evening.
Tom

Whoa! Now she’s pissed! You got lots of ‘splainin’ to do, Rev.

RE: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Sun 8/23/09 8:49 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Mr. Smith,
I cannot impress on you enough how opposed I am to ship young animals by any type of courier. If you really knew Yorkies you would know how susceptible they are to problems during travel, however, they are quite adaptable to environment.
What troubles me is that you would make your children give up their pets so readily. Trust me. They will be absolutely fine where they are. I just called a close friend to discuss your situation with the dogs. Mwebe Mustafa is a secretary to Donnas Blair in the U.S. Embassy in Lagos, and I shared your concerns with her. She warned me that you may not be truly honest with me, but I assured her that you were a Christian missionary. Nevertheless, she said pets fare very well in West Africa despite the lack of modern conveniences. They are especially useful in reaching children in the lesser developed tribes, so perhaps you should take that tact in your missionary work.
However, if you feel that you absolutely must make those poor animals leave Africa then I will do whatever I can to insure their health an well being. Please tell me again what I must do.
Peace in Jesus our Lord and Savior.
Regina T

RE: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Mon 8/24/09 4:46 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello ma
Thanks so much for the email and also the love you are showing in getting and caring for my babies.i will really appreciate it if you could please promise me again that you will not keep them away from each other for long and as you promise they will be seeing each other every time,please keep to that promise as i don’t want them to be too far from each other.Also let me know if you will be able to send me pictures of them monthly to me here.
I’m back from the shipping company and i was told that the shipping cost of babies to your nearest airport will be $700 and i think you know that we will both be responsible for the payment as agreed.So let me know if you will be able to come up with the $350 on your part so the babies can leave first thing tommorrow morning if we can make the payments today.
The Shipment includes insurance.i was informed that the babies will be save,i want you to know that i have also include their toys and some of their favourite food,and the shipment also includes all the paper work for the babies.
i want you to email me back so that i will forward to you the shipping companies information so that you can send the funds to them via western union money transfer as if i should go ahead and make my own part of payment of $350.
I await your kind response so that we will proceed.
Thank You and God Bless you
smith

I mean, come on. She’s on a fixed income. But then again, so is he – on ours.

RE: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Mon 8/24/09 7:54 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Dear Reverend Smith,
Now things have become difficult on my part. When the puppies were free I was very interested. Now that there is a price attached to them I will have to reconsider my priorities. I have $400 saved up to purchase new dentures as mine were cracked during the hurricane we experienced in South Louisiana last year. I was helping my son-in-law put plywood on my windows when a sudden gust caught the edge of the wood and slammed it directly in my face. The force of the blow knocked out both of my dentures and the lowers fell to the porch and cracked. I’ve been wearing them in two pieces ever since.
My dentist, Dr. Boudreaux in New Iberia, told me he could build me a new pair for $425, so I’ve been saving my money as a greeter at Wal Mart ever since.
Is there a way I can make payments to you? Also, I do not trust sending money by Western Union. Do you have an alternative method of delivery?
What do your children think about having to be without their pets?
Listening to your travels makes me want to return to the missions, but I don’t know if they would take a 68-year-old woman. I am strong and able to get around quite a bit (well, except for the dentures), and I think I could make the world a little better place over there than staying here asking people if they would like a buggy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I like wearing the blue vest, but I think there is more to life, don’t you?
I’m sorry if I sound like I’m going on and on, but since you’re a pastor I’m sure you’ve heard this all before. Please forgive me if I appear too forward, but what faith is your family? I know you are Christian, but from the picture you look like a good Southern Baptist family. Please forgive me if I am wrong, but I would just like to know.
Sometimes I think I hear my husband talking to me from beyond the grave. Do you believe that our dearly departed can speak to us from the other side? I would think Our Lord would be loving enough to allow them to keep in touch with us. I haven’t the nerve to speak to my own pastor about this, so I am asking you as a friend about your thoughts on this. Please tell me if I am being too forward.
As for the puppies, go ahead and send me the shipping information and I will think strongly about it. Where are the dogs at this time? Are they in quarantine? Can you see them? Do they appear to be scared.
Please get back to me as soon as possible. I have to go to work in 20 minutes, but I can check my email during lunch.
Warmest regards,
Regina

I’m so happy that the pups have learned to read. Or is he reading the email to the puppies? Hey, wait. I thought he dropped them off at the shippers. Does he go and visit them?

RE: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Mon 8/24/09 12:14 PM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Dear ma
Thank you for the mail the pup are very happy to hear form you i have been in the shipping company to rigester the pup in your name (Regina
T) please i have to let you know that you have to proved the information about you your nearest airport,your full name,your address.and your phone number,so that will can make the shipping asap.
you dont have to be afraid of anything just go and make the payment through Western Union Money Transfer nearest you.here is the information below:
RECEIVER NAME: Don potts Agent in charge
ADDRESS: 154 Victoria Garden city
CITY: Ikeja
STATE: Lagos
ZIPCODE: 23401
question:to who
answer:yorkie
As soon as you send the payment from the Western Union Money Transfer, you would be given some informations. You would have to get back to me with following information:
1. Full Sender’s Name And Address Including Zip Code:
2. MTCN:
3. Amount Sent:
thanks and more the glory of god be with you and your family,
rev smith

Let this be a lesson – friends don’t let friends email drunk. Such a sad and creepy story. The old lady sure endured a lot.

Subject: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Mon 8/24/09 12:34 PM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Reverend Smith,
I have decided that I can only afford $200 toward the shipment of the puppies.
You still have not answered my question about how the children feel. I would sincerely like to know if I will be depriving them of their childhood pets. I would feel absolutely terrible about it.
Please have them send me a note or something so that I know that they are fine with all of this. I lost a puppy when I was seven years old and it has haunted me ever since. It was very young and wet the carpet almost every night. We only had one threadbare carpet so the puppy would seek the warmth of the rug instead of the cold dirt floor in our home. When my father would get home at night he was usually drinking and in a bad mood. He walked on the carpet in his bare feet, we only had Sunday shoes, and he felt the little dog’s wetness. In a rage he found the puppy cowering in a corner. With one hand he grabbed the pup and squeezed with all his might. I heard the bones break as the little dog whimpered and the life ran out of him. But what happened next was even worse. He threw the dog in a pot of hot soup that mother left simmering on the stove for him when he came home. He then threw the lid on the pot and stormed upstairs.
I witnessed the whole thing as I hid behind the sofa afraid to come out. When I heard him slam the bedroom door and yell at my mother I sneaked into the kitchen and used a long ladle to get the puppy out of the soup. I put him on a towel to try to dry him off and see if I could save him. All of a sudden my father stormed in the kitchen and saw what I was doing. He yelled at me and I fell back on my bottom. He grabbed the puppy and opened the back door and threw it with all his might. I searched all that night and into the morning and I never found that puppy.
The next morning my father felt so bad about what he had done, so he gave me a fifty-cent piece to make up for it. That was the very first fifty-cent piece I ever had, and it was the first time I had a lot of money. I forgot all about that puppy after that.
So I don’t want your children to be upset is what I’m saying.
Let me know how they feel, please.
Regards,
Regina

Things slowed down a bit, so let’s stoke the flames again.

RE: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Tue 8/25/09 8:31 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Dear Reverend Smith,
I have good news! My son said he would loan me $200 towards the safe passage of the puppies. He is a wonderful person and loves me very much. I know it is as difficult for him to spend the money as me since he works in law enforcement. But he said he has some friends who work in international shipping in the loss-prevention department. I think they are law enforcement as well, but he said they will make sure that the puppies are delivered safely.
He said if I want that he can even have someone at the port in Africa insure that the puppies are crated correctly and cared for. Usually there is another charge for premium service, but he said he can call in some favors and get it for me for free!
So, please let me know which company will be in charge of the shipping. Perhaps we can get it at a lower cost.
Also, please let me know how the children feel about this.
I hope $400 helps with the shipping costs.
Yours in Jesus, the Lamb of God and Savior of the World in whom all of our trust resides,
Regina

RE: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Tue 8/25/09 11:56 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Hello ma, i first told you that i had already deposit my part of payment to the shipping conpany here is their contact email address worldwide_deliveryservice06@yahoo.com as i told you the shipper in charge name is Don potts he will be happy to email you because i want to there office this morning and the told my that the puppies are fine that all there are waitng for is for you to provide your personal address,phone number and the nearest airport closest to you were they can ship the puppies to you the can email you at any time from now or tomorrow to give you were the information that i gave you where you will pay your part of payment………..
thanks and awaiting for your responce
rev smith

Apparently, the Rev is not blessed with the virtue of patience.

RE: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Wed 8/26/09 12:53 PM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello ma
i and my wife have been waiting for responce and neve had anything from you is every thing well with you over there
rev smith

AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE?
From: peter smith (petersmith200@gmail.com)
Sent: Mon 8/31/09 1:29 AM
To: regina@email.com
hello mad woman
you have just make me waste my $350 to shipping
i told you first that if you can take care of the puppies dont reply me back
peter

Oh yeah, go ahead a piss her off. See how far you’ll get.

RE: [Fwd: AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE]?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Mon 8/31/09 11:56 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Dear Reverend Smith,
I am quite surprised that a Christian man would express such negative emotion. For your information, I have just been released from the hospital following a bad fall last week. I was rushing to get the doorbell when I tripped on a carpet in the living room and broke my leg! My son was at the door and he had a check for $200 towards the purchase of the dogs. He drove me to the hospital straightaway not even waiting for an ambulance.
So now I am home recuperating. I was hoping that he would have checked my email for me, but I neglected to tell him to do so.
Now please explain how you spent $350 for shipping? I will gladly reimburse you if you can email me a receipt and give me an address.
Please tell me what port you intend to ship the puppies. Morgan Nethalyu, director of ports in Lagos says he can probably accommodate all shipping costs up to a five by five by five crate. This is a good man to know.
I apologize that you got irritated with me, and I will tell you that I do not appreciate your tone. Perhaps the African weather has gotten to your brain, or whatever, but that is no way to address a Christian lady who is doing her best to help you and your poor puppies.
Perhaps it would be wiser if you sought some other interested party to assist you.
Regards,
Regina A. T

Oh, a new location – From the house of the Lord.

FROM THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Tue 9/01/09 12:57 PM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello ma
we are sorry that you head an incedent but we are putting you in prayer, i and my wife are waiting for your response please we really need your assistant to go ahead and apy so that the puppies can be shipped to you .
Rev smith

Now that’s more like a man of the cloth – putting her in prayer so she can pay the damn money.

AWAITING FOR H RESPONSE MAY GOD BE WITH YOU?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Tue 9/01/09 5:33 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello ma
i and my wife we are putting you in prayer everyday and we thank God for your life, when we waited for you to response we thougth that you are not any more interested then my wife now followed me to the shipping company to retrive our money but the said that only is for us to complete the money so all the need from you to proceed the shipping of the puppies is you should provide your address phone number,and the airport nearest to were the can ship the puppies to and the told me that the mail you and you didn’t mail them so goahead and email them so that the can give there informationb where you can pay your part of payment,and am going to there office to tell them what happened.
Thanks and may they glory of God be with you
Amen.
revsmith

She has a friend who knows a friend. Yeah, you know how these things turn out.

But hey, we got a wire number now! Remember that number – it’s hot.
RE: FROM THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Tue 9/01/09 6:36 PM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Hello Rev. Smith,
I called Morgan last night and had a wonderful conversation. He said he would be more than willing to insure that the puppies have a safe passage. If you can, please call him at +234-802-8934774. Please ask for Morgan and do not speak to anyone else. Morgan says that he knows all of the ports in West Africa and some in South Africa. They all owe him favors, so maybe you can get a good deal.
I’ve wired $400.00 through Western Union. The wire number is 4340487876. Please let me know when you get it, and then we can worry about getting those precious puppies here.
Since I am hobbling around in a wheelchair I do not think I could take care of the dogs myself. So my son, Matthew, offered to take care of them for a while. I think I told you about him. He has a wonderful job as a detective with the Lafayette Police Department. He told me to be careful wiring money, but I told him that it was for a pastor friend of mine. He said it was ok.
So funny, he and his wife are going to Nigeria next month in early October. There is some kind of an international law enforcement seminar in Ibadan, wherever that is. You never told me where you were, but if you know that area you could certainly look him up.
Peace go with you,
Regina

RE: FROM THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Tue 9/01/09 6:39 PM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Oh my, I forgot to tell you! My address is 600 Jefferson St, Lafayette, LA 70501. My phone is (337) 291-8600. And the closest airport is Lafayette, LA (LFT).
Please let me know when they’re coming. Wheelchair or not, I’m going to meet them at the airport!
Love in Jesus,
Regina

What? And things were going so well…

RE: FROM THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Wed 9/02/09 4:12 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello
i have go to the western union they said the wire number is not correct
i think some thing is going on pls tell me
may you think i am a scam pls dont think so
may god be with you the number is not correct
amen
rev smith

Maybe I think it’s a scam? Now why would I think something like that. Good American family on a mission to Nigeria without any discernible command of English grammar.

RE: FROM THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Wed 9/02/09 5:52 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Reverend,
I just called Western Union and they verified that 4340487876 is the correct number. It might be listed as 4340-487876. I don’t know if that dash is necessary.
Please try again for the sake of the puppies.
Regina

Everything now is for the sake of the puppies!

RE: FROM THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Wed 9/02/09 7:15 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Hello Regina
I want to western union and they ask for your full name the Sender First Name and Sender Last Name please i will like you to give me the information very well and i will call you right now to comfirn it asap
NOTE:Please call the agent in shipping on+2348079840269
Rev. Smith

Check it again.

RE: FROM THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Wed 9/02/09 7:22 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
here are what they told me in westren union
W0131 We do not have an order with the provided information. Please verify your information and click Check Status.

Let’s see how far he’ll go to clear things up.

RE: FROM THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Thu 9/03/09 6:59 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Reverend Smith,
As much as I love animals and am concerned about the welfare of your pets, it appears that this is too much trouble for me to endure. I cannot get around too well in this wheelchair, and my ear hurts when I stay on the phone for more than a minute.
If you would have just called Morgan like I asked we could have cleared up the whole thing very, very quickly.
Please pardon me if I sound out of line, but I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps you do not care to ship the puppies at all. I’ve done everything I can on this end to find safe transportation, and yet you have not even bothered to answer my questions.
I am calling Western Union this afternoon to cancel the transfer immediately. Please respond to my original questions after which I will reattempt the wire transfer.
Regina

RE: FROM THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Thu 9/03/09 8:42 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
what is the question let me if i have forgoting please remaind me

thanks and looking forward to hear from you?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Fri 9/04/09 3:31 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello ma
i want to western union and the told me that if you know that you truely trasfer a money threw western union you should scan the western union slip to verify that you have paid the money .
thanks and looking forward to hear from you
rev smith

I would scan the slip if I had one. Oh well, let’s just give up on WU and see what he does.

RE: thanks and looking forward to hear from you?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Fri 9/04/09 5:55 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Rev. Smith,
I have canceled the Western Union transfer. Their records showed that a claim was attempted in Nigeria, however, through the urging of my son I had placed an embargo on funds for certain countries in Africa without missionaries.
My main question was how do the children feel about having to give up their pets. Then I asked what country you were sent to and the name of the mission, that is, what church do you represent?
Simple questions, dear. Please let the children respond. I would not feel right knowing that I’m taking their pets from them.
Very best regards,
Regina

Do you think he really called? A Nigerian man answered a phone in Nigeria? What are the odds? LCD Missionaries – are they better than LED Missionaries?

I and my family and looking forward to hear from you?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Fri 9/04/09 9:54 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello ma
i just call mr morgan and he told me that this number is a wrong number and he sound like an nigeria man and the question you asked me we are associated with the lcd missionaries and befor i and my wife decied to have a meeting among the family it was the male one said because of there health that we should art fast and fine some one good and caring who can take very good care of them for us but ma we need your assistant when you have doposit your part of of payment do and the puppies are sent to you do send us there picture every second weeks and write back to me if i should go to the shipping company to tell them if you are going to pay the deposit so that the can mail you were you will pay the deposit all i want to tell that i and my family are in full support of giving the puppies to you for free.
love from the house of god
Rev Smith

Letting him stew a bit.

RE: thanks and looking forward to hear from you?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Sun 9/06/09 10:10 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello
madam you do not respond why are you not interestedin the puppies any more
smith

RE: thanks and looking forward to hear from you?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Sun 9/06/09 8:23 PM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com

Reverend Smith,
I believe I have made myself quite clear. You have refused to answer my questions, therefore, I am recovering the $400.00 I sent to you.
You appear to not be interested in sending me the puppies, so it is you who is delaying everything.
I want those puppies so much, but you do not want to send them to me. I have promised $400.00, but it appears that will not be enough for you.
So, unless you take care of your end of the bargain, I guess we’re finished. I do hope you find a good home for the dogs. I wish it were mine.
May God go with you in your journey.
Regina T

All caps – he’s desperate! She’s leaving the station and he ain’t on the train. Better do something quick!

PLEASE SAVE THE LIFE OF THIS PUPPIES THE NEED YOUR HELP?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Mon 9/07/09 3:54 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)

hello ma
it is not like that ma but i thougt that i told you that me and my family are in support of send you the puppies it is my first son that told me to find some body over their that can take good care of them for us that is why i decieded to place the ad on newspaper before the mr tom told us that you are interested but is look like you are tricking us about to ship the puppies we are very worry hear the are because of there health, i went to there doctor to check hoiw there are do and he told me that if the person that want to take care of the puppies is no more interested that we should look foward if we can see any other person who can take very good care of them for us he that to be sincerely speaking that if those puppies use another month here that the can die here in africa and he said the only way to save there life is by shipping to were to come from wish is in our home town and i want to the shipping company and the told me that the have email you but you didn”t respond to there email but now i am going their office to tell them to email ones again that you will respone to them remeber you are the only person that can save there life now.
please do this for the life of this puppies
Rev Smith

OK, let’s try this.

RE: PLEASE SAVE THE LIFE OF THIS PUPPIES THE NEED YOUR HELP?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Mon 9/07/09 8:04 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Could you please send me the name and phone number of your veterinarian? My vet would like to speak with him about the health of the puppies and if they are able to travel.
Regina

AWAITING FOR YOU RESPONSE?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Tue 9/08/09 2:55 PM
To: Lance V (lance.V@email.com)
hello sir
the veterinarian in charge of taking care of the puppies here in africa is mr andrew mark i told me what you said and he told me that becuase he is always busy in the office that you should email he direct at andrewmark100@gmail.com he said that he will respond to your question, and you can email the shipping company now worldwide_deliveryservice06@yahoo.com they will respond to you at any timethanks
rev smith

And welcome Dr. V. I’m starting to get a Sybil complex. Let’s see how many identities I can juggle.

Re: Regina T?
From: Lance V
Sent: Tue 9/08/09 9:33 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.comReverend Smith,
I am Dr. Lance V, a veterinarian in Baton Rouge, La. I have been Ms. T’s doctor for her pets for many, many years. She has confided in me the nature of your transaction with her and the puppies to be shipped from Africa.
I will tell you right now that any animals shipped to the United States will face a six-week quarantine, regardless of how little time they may have spent in country.
Therefore, she has asked me to handle the shipment of the animals. Against my wishes she has given me a cashier’s check for handling the shipping. I assured her that it would not be that much, but I did promise that I would cover whatever over costs might be incurred.
Please provide me with the veterinarian handling the crating of the dogs and the shipping company. We will certainly reimburse you for any of your costs out of pocket. Our only intention is to make sure the animals have a safe trip back to the country.
Should you need to contact me directly please call (225) 389-3800. You may call collect if you wish.
Regards,
Dr. V

RE: PLEASE SAVE THE LIFE OF THIS PUPPIES THE NEED YOUR HELP?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Tue 9/08/09 12:14 PM
To: regina@email.com
Cc:
regina@email.com
hello ma
i have email your veterinarian mr lance v about how to contact my veterinarian and the shipping company don’n worry the puppies will arrive save and good to you that is what my veterinarian told me he told me that the puppies are now 14 weeks old and their is not that can happen to them now the will be shipped to you savely you can contact the shipping company by mail worldwide_deliveryservice06@yahoo.com you you can also contact my veterinarian mr andrew mark andrwemark100@gmail.com you can email the shipping company now if you like the will respond to you mail because i have already tell them about you that i am going to ship 2 tea cup yorkies to you..
thanks and looking forward to hear from you
rewv smith

Peter Smith puppies?
From: Lance V
Sent: Tue 9/08/09 10:32 PM
To: andrewmark100@gmail.com
Dr. Mark,
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lance V, DVD from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA. I am working with Reverend Peter Smith, a missionary from the United States that is interested in shipping a pair of Teacup Yorkshires to this country. My client, Regina T, is very concerned about the health and welfare of the dogs as she it to take receivership of the animals on their arrival and completion of quarantine.
Could you please forward whatever records you have concerning vaccinations, particularly parvovirus and hydrophobia. If you have their approximate ages that would be of great assistance in assessing their situation.
At your first opportunity please call me or have your staff call me to discuss transfer of the dogs. I would assume that the dogs will be airshipped to New Orleans, Louisiana since that is the closest animal port.
Looking forward to hearing from you quickly.
Regards,
Dr. Lance V
201 Capital Pkwy
Baton Rouge, LA USA
(225) 389-3800

I guess if I can make up a vet so can he. Bet mine knows more about dogs than his. Oh, that phone number above is to the BRPD. They would love to hear from the Rev. I’m sure.

Thanks for your meseng get back to me or Rev. smith ASAP…?
From: andrew mark (andrewmark100@gmail.com)
Sent: Wed 9/09/09 8:35 AM
To: Lance V (lance.V@email.com)
Dear Lance V ,
Thanks for the mail, i want you to know that i`m Dr Andrew Mark the doctor of Rev.peter smith I want you to know that there is not happen to these babies and thir are age is 14 Weeks old right now and they are really doing fine love to play with poeple. I also want you to know that the shipping company are ready to ship out the puppies today and they are (AKC REGISTED) vaccinations, particularly parvovirus and hydrophobia papers will be ship out with the babies as soon as the shipping company receive they balance from you and the puppies will be arrived and i`m asure you that no problem will happen to those puppies. I also want you to know that REv. Sm ith and his wife also love this puppies and they dont want anything to harm them due to the bad wheather over here that is why they both giving out the puppies for adoption. So i will call Rev Smith to contact the shipping company right now to confirm maybe Ms Regina T has make her payment and i also want you Or your client to contact the shipping company so that will can procced .
please don`t hestant to contact me at any time if there`s any problem.
Thanks and God bless
Dr. Andrew

Now that is about as thorough an examination that I can expect from a Nigerian veterinarian with a gmail account.

Veterinary appraisal?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Thu 9/10/09 11:15 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Rev. Smith,
I am waiting to hear from Dr. V on his talks with your veterinarian. I’m hoping it’s good news. Dr. V says he has been in contact with a Dr. Marx, I believe, so it shouldn’t be long now.
Please let me know if you hear of anything before I do.
Regards,
Regina

Keep stoking that little flame and watch it grow.The Rev must be salivating right about now. That money is so so close.

RE: Thanks for your meseng get back to me or Rev. smith ASAP…?
From: Lance V (lance.V@email.com)
Sent: Thu 9/10/09 2:21 PM
To: andrewmark100@gmail.com
Dr Marx,
Thank you for your note. Ms. T has given me a cashier’s check for $700.00 for the transportation of the puppies. I told her that it was too much money, and that I have animals regularly shipped from Ghana, South Africa and Victoria and it was rarely more than $300 for a pair. I believe you will concur.
Could you please provide me with RHma levels from their last blood tests. Also PSAT and PSA readings as provided to AKC. If you have their AKC registration numbers that would be very helpful in tracking their status during transit. Also, do you know if they will be using Lorisat or Triosonomine to sedate the dogs during transit, and if so, what amounts? I am very concerned for their well being at traveling so often at 3 months old.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
L. V, DVD
201 Capital Pkwy
Baton Rouge, LA USA
(225) 389-3800

fell free to contact me when ever you need my help?
From: andrew mark (andrewmark100@gmail.com)
Sent: Thu 9/10/09 3:44 PM
To: Lance V (lance.V@email.com)
hello dr lance
i had aready told you that all the information you needed about the puppies will be shipped out with the puppies i gave rev smith the document consist the akc registered number ,rhma leves from there blood test which i tested last week and i forget to tell you that the day the ms regina told rev smith to go and make his part of payment was the day he requested for the document which consist the full detail about the puppies so email rev smith and ask him if the document are still with him or it is with the shipping company .fell free to contact me when ever you need my help
please pay the money on time so that the puppies can be shiped to out on time
Dr Andrew mark

That doc is concerned that the Rev won’t get his money. He’s pretty stingy with medical information. Must be a HIPPA thing. Didn’t know it covered dogs.

RE: fell free to contact me when ever you need my help?
From: Lance V (lance.V@email.com)
Sent: Thu 9/10/09 6:28 PM
To: andrewmark100@gmail.com
Dr. Marx,
As you can well understand, I need the information prior to the shipment of the animals. I would never accept an animal without prior documentation. I will advise Ms. T that it is against my better judgment that she proceed with this transaction.
Regards,
L V, DVD

So let’s hear from Ms. T again.

Veterinary appraisal?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Thu 9/10/09 11:15 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Rev. Smith,
I am waiting to hear from Dr. V on his talks with your veterinarian. I’m hoping it’s good news. Dr. V says he has been in contact with a Dr. Marx, I believe, so it shouldn’t be long now.
Please let me know if you hear of anything before I do.
Regards,
Regina

Re: Veterinary appraisal?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Thu 9/10/09 12:59 PM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello ms regina
i want to dr mark office today and he told me that dr V contact he ask him about the puppies regarding to the puppies and he told me to explain the puppies paper the the day you told me to deposit my part of payment the shipping company told me to provide the puppies paper so that the can v arify there health if the can be shippedout or not i wa nt to collect the papers fromj dr mark and i gave it to the shipping company and the full detail you need to know about the puppies wiull be shipped out with the puppies to you .
is that okey ms regina .
so i will tell the shipping company to email you or dr V when you will pay the money
ms regina believe me the puppies will be shipped out to you savely to you please ms regina do send us there picture every mouth.
thanks and God bless you for save the life of the puppies
rev smith

We all knew it had to end somewhere, right? But has it really?

RE: Veterinary appraisal?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Thu 9/10/09 7:08 PM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Reverend Smith,
It appears that our relationship has come to an end. Dr. V has asked your veterinarian for information, and it appears that he will not comply.
I asked that Dr. V find out of the pups have been treated medically and other information. All Dr. Marx would say is “fine, fine, the puppies are fine.” How can I make you and your doctor understand that we want some real information. I don’t need the information sent with the dogs. I want it now.
The dogs will be put in quarantine for 6 weeks on their arrival in America. Did you know that?
I am becoming very angry with you and your doctor. I have even raised another $300.00 making it $700.00 that I am willing to get the dogs. My doctor said I won’t even need half of that because it doesn’t cost that much to ship animals.
So who’s telling the truth?
Rev. Smith, I beseech your Christian nature. Please have your doctor send my doctor the information he needs so I can get my dogs.
Otherwise I will say goodbye.
Regards,
Regina T

No, wait. It’s not like that!

Subject: Re: Veterinary appraisal
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 2009 12:59:12 -0700
From: petersmith43@yahoo.com
To: regina@email.com
hello ms regina
i want to dr mark office today and he told me that dr V contact he ask him about the puppies regarding to the puppies and he told me to explain the puppies paper the the day you told me to deposit my part of payment the shipping company told me to provide the puppies paper so that the can v arify there health if the can be shippedout or not i wa nt to collect the papers fromj dr mark and i gave it to the shipping company and the full detail you need to know about the puppies wiull be shipped out with the puppies to you .
is that okey ms regina .
so i will tell the shipping company to email you or dr V when you will pay the money
ms regina believe me the puppies will be shipped out to you savely to you please ms regina do send us there picture every mouth.
thanks and God bless you for save the life of the puppies
rev smith

Let’s address the elephant in the room

RE: Veterinary appraisal?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Fri 9/11/09 8:00 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Rev. Smith,
I am very concerned about your health. Your grammar has certainly become worse since you shipped out to Africa. I am asking that you see a doctor at once. I had a mild stroke seven years ago, and I could hardly write a complete sentence for weeks. Finally, after some therapy I became somewhat literate again. I beg you to not put this off.
Perhaps you are trying to type too quickly, in which case I could understand a few errors. But simple punctuation, especially for a man of God, should be a high priority.
Dr. V has not called me this morning, so I’m waiting to hear from him about what he learned from your veterinarian. My son-in-law, Tom, is coming over this morning to bring me to the bank and run some other errands, so I may be out if you try to call or write. I am hoping to get out of this wheelchair soon, but my leg still hurts a lot. Dr. V said it would probably be good that I am not able to see the puppies immediately since they will be in a quarantine cage for almost two months. That is a law here, you know.
Please take care of yourself.
Regards,
Regina

RE: Veterinary appraisal?
From: Peter Smith (petersmith43@yahoo.com)
Sent: Sat 9/12/09 9:48 AM
To: Regina T (regina@email.com)
hello ma
don,t worry i will send your doctor the document he wanted
regard
rev smith

Oh, this is good.

Subject: AKC Registration Number
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 2009 05:31:18 -0700
From: petersmith43@yahoo.com
To: lance.V@email.com
SPRINGFIELD VETERINARY CENTER OF A/ PENN HIP PATIENT INFORMATION
Registered Name of DogOwner’s :rev peter smith
NameBreed:bobby and prissy
City:lagos
State:nigeria
Tattoo # òr Microchip #
(Required for OF A):microchip
Telephone Number08060986806
AKC Registration Number:key200000876
Sex:male and female
Date of Birth:7/6/2009
I hereby certify that the radiograph submitted is of the dog described on thiscard. I am aware that the radiograph will be retained for the records of theOrthopedic Foundation for Animals, Inc., and I authorize the OFA to releasethe OFA number, which includes the phenotypic evaluation, to the A.K.C.,applicable breed club and referring veterinarian.Signature of Owner or Authorized RepresentativeOFA (please bring check to be made payable to OFA)Perm Hip (fee added to client invoice)Airborne Fee for Springfield Veterinary Center added to invoice
rev smith

Subject: FW: AKC Registration Number
From: lance.V@email.com
To: regina@email.com
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 2009 11:38:36 -0400
Gina,
I just received this from the pastor. I’m not sure what to make of this because he has one AKC number for both dogs. That’s highly unusual. I am running a check of the AKC number through the authorities right now. Also, I just received a call from an Agent Archie Terrebone from the government after my first inquiry to the AKC. I have no idea what he wants, but he has made an appointment this afternoon. I think he may want to check my AKC records, but I will let you know if it is concerning your adoption. Sometimes overseas adoptions go through extra scrutiny, but I wouldn’t worry about it.
I’m still waiting to hear from Dr. Marx about the Parvo readings. Haven’t heard from him since last week. Do you want to contact Dr. Marx? I can’t find a phone number for him, so maybe you should ask Smith. Of course, since he’s a new patient Marx may be taking his time. After all, he won’t have the dogs for patients anymore, right?
How’s the leg? Loni said she’ll go by to see you sometimes this week. Let her know when you’ll be home.
I still have the cashier’s check here, but like I said, I’ve never heard of shipping costs of $700.00 before. It’s usually $150.00 per animal unless there’s something special about the fees. See if you’ll be paying for crating, etc. Sometimes they lump that in, but check with Smith to see if that’s a part of it.
Take care of yourself and don’t hesitate to call me with any questions.
Lance

Oh oh, a conundrum. Fortunately, Ms. T has an answer.

RE: AKC Registration Number?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Mon 9/14/09 8:53 AM
To: lance.V@email.com
Doc,
Litters can be registered under a single number, so if the male and bitch are the only two in the litter it is entirely possible they were registered as a single. I believe Rev. Smith said they were brother and sister. I’ll check the old emails.
He also said it was more than $700.00 but that may include shipping containers. Can you rent those? Do you reuse them?
Loni called this morning and she’s coming by this afternoon. She’s so sweet. I told her she didn’t have to, but she insisted. The leg is doing much better, but I still have five more weeks in the cast. The doctor told me I was healing fast, and I said “Pretty good for an old lady, huh?” He laughed, but I could tell he was embarrassed.
One thing I neglected to ask is that when the puppies arrive and are through with quarantine, can I kennel them with you until I’m fully on my feet? I do want to bring them home so badly, but I’m afraid that I will not be able to keep up with them if I am still on crutches.
Best,
Gina

Subject: RE: AKC Registration Number

From: lance.V@email.com
To: regina@email.com
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 2009 11:58:42 -0400
Gina,
Reputable animal shippers will reuse the containers after a disinfectant routine. I’ve never had to purchase or rent, but, of course, we always transfer the animals directly to our mobile container when we receive them out of quarantine. Quarantine will not accept the containers either. They are immediately transferred to a “delousing” chamber for pest control and monitoring. Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it sounds. They do treat the animals humanely. I have two interns who worked at the Port of New Orleans in animal control.
Good to hear you’re getting by. Of course, we can keep the pups until you’re well. Tina can reserve a kennel for you. Would you like two separate or should we keep them together? When do you expect them to arrive? Are you going to wait for the Parvo and PSA readings? I’ll check with the doctor this morning.
Lance

OK, this is scary because I’m having an imaginary conversation between people I made up. I’m afraid this is a symptom of a deeper illness. But it’s good to have a “paper” trail in case he asks.

Subject: RE: AKC Registration Number
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Mon 9/14/09 12:01 PM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.comDear Reverend,
Dr. V contacted me with the news he received from you, and I just had lunch with his wife. I think things are going smoothly now. I will make a trip to Western Union in the morning if he tells me he has received everything. I think he’s just waiting to hear from your veterinarian about some numbers or something.
When you get the total cost from the shipping company please let me know. Ask them for an itemized list so we’ll know what they are charging for. My doctor says that it is too high, so I’d like to give him some information to justify the costs. It has taken me some time to raise the rest of the money, and some I borrowed from friends and neighbors, so I would like to save money where I can.
Let me hear from you as soon as possible.
Yours in Jesus Our Savior,
Regina T

I just want to be safe, you know?

Payment?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Mon 9/14/09 2:04 PM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Reverend Smith,
Do you know what Paypal is? My son-in-law says I should not send money by Western Union because the fees are too high. They want $42.00 for me to wire the money, and I need to know what country you are in.
If I do it through Paypal it doesn’t cost as much and I can do it from home on my computer. I don’t know if you can get paypal there, but let me know if you can. Otherwise I will only be able to send you $648.00 because of the Western Union fees. I went to the office this afternoon and there and was going to send the money. When I sent the original $400 it wasn’t nearly that much. Maybe they are punishing me because I cancelled the first order, but that still cost me money even though I cancelled it.
Let me know how you can do it. What if I FedEx you the cash? I think that would be cheaper still. I know people say it’s dangerous, but I send cash all the time with FedEx and I have never once had a problem. I sent my daughter $15,000 in 20 dollar bills once. Talk about heavy! But it all made it. But boy was she mad! She told me to never do that again, but I still do it.
Hope to hear from you soon.
How are the puppies doing?
Peace in the Lamb of God,
Regina

Why didn’t I think of this before? Of course, I have somebody close to you that could help!

Blessings abound!!!?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Tue 9/15/09 7:08 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Reverend Smith,
Surely, the Lord is smiling on both of us! My son-in-law’s sister, Sister Mary Catherine, is a nun doing missionary work for the Medical Mission Sisters in Africa! This is truly amazing! I just spoke with Tom about her and he told me she is working with Corpus Christi Cathedral in Port Harcourt, Nigeria. I have no idea where that is or how far it is from you, but I am contacting her at once. He gave me her email address, sister@mbuzu.com. Her order is based in Florida, and she has been in Africa for over two years doing health care work for the poor.
I think this will be a great opportunity to get the money to you quickly.
I will let you know when I hear from her.
Blessing,
Regina

First contact. We’ll get the other missionaries involved. OK, another identity to handle. Not a problem, I’ve disposed of Dr. V so now I’ll be a nun. I’m probably going to hell anyway messing with this poor man who’s just trying to make a living.

Hello from Lafayette!?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Tue 9/15/09 9:26 AM
To: sister@mbuzu.com
Hello Mary Catherine,
I hope this note finds you well. I just spoke with Tom this morning while discussing a problem we’re having here. When he brought up your name I knew it was a blessing from God!
I hope you are doing well because I know your work is blessed by the Lord Himself. I don’t remember the last time we visited, but please let me know when you will be back in the States so that we can gather the family once again.
I am doing well despite fracturing my leg a few days ago. A nasty fall has put me temporarily in a wheelchair, so please keep my healing in your prayers. Tom said that you have been traveling quite a bit in Africa. It seems like only last year you were in India. I think I remember when he said you were going to Africa, but I did not remember when.
Despite all that, here is why I am contacting you today, and it’s a long story so I hope you have the time. A few weeks back, Tom wrote and told me that there were a pair of Yorkshire puppies that someone wanted to give away and they were putting an ad in his newspaper. Well, he knew I had Yorkies and told me about them. Naturally, the dog lover in me jumped at the chance, but I was too late. The gentleman with the dogs was actually a missionary himself, and he had already left for the African missions. Reverend Smith and I have been in contact and he is quite concerned or the health of the dogs, since they are quite young and are not weathering the Africa weather too well. Therefore, he is still interested in giving the dogs away, but now there is a cost involved in shipping them. I am quite afraid of sending money by wire to a stranger, so perhaps you could assist me in this. Do you have ideas how I could get the money to you and then to him? Is that a possibility? I know nothing of Africa other than my travels there, so you would probably know geography better than me.
Please let me know where you are and how you are doing. Did Tom tell you that I gave $500 to the missions in your name? I know you probably won’t see the money yourself, but I do hope it goes directly to where you are working.
Please write when you get the chance.
All the best in Jesus,
Regina

What a great idea! Let’s get another person of the cloth involved. Now we’re equally armed. Who wants to argue with a nun? Odds are he may have had St. Maurice in third grade and his memories will come back to haunt him.

Subject: Re: Hello from Lafayette!
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 2009 13:53:01 -0500
From: sister@mbuzu.com
To: regina@email.comOh my Gosh, Miss Gina! What a wonderful surprise!
Sister Rita and I had were having dinner in town and I went into an Internet cafe to check my email when yours suddenly arrived! It’s almost like the hand of God guiding you.
I’m so sorry to hear about your fall. I know you will heal perfectly because of the wonderful person you are, and you are so strong. I will still keep you in my prayers as I do you and Mr. T every night. Sometimes I still dream about him still being alive, and I know you miss him more than I do, even though I miss him a lot.
Work here is grueling but oh so rewarding. I am living with two other sisters in a house in the Onne district. It’s not quite the nicest part of town, but you’d probably expect that of me anyway.
Is your friend in Nigeria or elsewhere in Africa? We’re almost 500km from Lagos, but there are flights daily. We go into Lagos only once a year. And that’s usually to accompany a sister who is leaving or arriving. I have made the drive only once, and it takes a full day.
Port Harcourt is not nearly as dangerous as people say. About half of the population is Muslim and the rest Christian. The Muslims are very respectful to us, especially when we wear our habits. I am teaching 3rd through 8th grades at a local school and working in a makeshift hospital in the late evenings. I will go on call at 11 this evening. School only lasts four hours a day since the children still must work. It is a grueling place sometimes, but it is still very beautiful to me.
Hah, when you mentioned India I had to laugh. Compared to Bolangir this place is paradise! When Mother Superior asked if I wanted to go to Africa I almost said yes before she finished the question! My malaria is much better here, and I don’t feel as if my life is under constant threat in Africa. I still have to take the medicine for that and the rickets that I contracted there.
Of course I will help you with the dogs. Do you know the dogs? Have you met the missionary? Is he a Catholic missionary? Next time you write him ask him where he is. If you want to send me the money I can arrange for delivery or a pickup from our academy. We are on Churchill St here not far from the warehouses. It might be better to meet somewhere else, but it will be another three weeks before I am able to leave the convent. We do not have reliable transportation here, but once a month we hire a driver to take us to town for supplies or medical needs. Can he wait that long?
Otherwise Sister Anthony can go to the Western Union office, which is about 15 km away, tomorrow night on her bicycle.I tried riding her bicycle, but my orthopedic shoes just can’t stay on the pedals.
Now, I cannot accept animals here so he’ll still have to ship them directly to you. We have no room for anything other than three sisters, and even that’s stretching it. We hardly have enough to feed ourselves much less a dog or two.
Miss Gina, you are always a blessing to me. Mother Superior wrote me when your donation was received. She had tears in her eyes because we were trying to find a way to patch the roof of the schoolroom. One of the children brought a live grenade to school one day for show and tell and it went off in class. Yes, unfortunately, he was maimed for life and lost an arm, but the roof was almost a total loss.
When I get to town early next month I will try to give you a phone call when I reach a phone. I would love to hear you and talk to you.
Please instruct me on how you want to proceed. I will be willing to do anything you need for me to do. I may not be able to personally respond to your email since either Sister Anthony or Geraldi, our handyman, goes to the marketplace next, but I will instruct them to look for email from you.
Peace in Christ,
Sister Mary Catherine

Why Port Harcourt? According to Google it’s the most dangerous city in Africa. And it’s less than 500 clicks from Lagos! Convenient? Hardly. Now let’s share the good news.

RE: Hello from Lafayette!?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Tue 9/15/09 12:03 PM
To: sister@mbuzu.com; petersmith43@yahoo.com
Mary Catherine,
I am including the Reverend Peter Smith on this email as a way of introduction. He is doing God’s work also. I don’t know what part of Africa he is in, so your solution may not work. I will ask him directly.
Still I will proceed with the funds transfer and I am sending it directly to your convent in your name, if that is ok. One you receive them we can decide what’s best after that. I just felt insecure in putting the money out there, no disrespect intended, Rev. Smith.
And to help I’m sending an extra $100.00 for the convent, Dear. I know you can use it much more than I can. The remainder will be for shipment of the puppies.
I am going to Western Union in just a few minutes, and I will email you directly when I get all of the information.
Rev. Smith, if there is any way possible you could contact Sister Mary Catherine in person that would be the most comfortable way for me to get the funds to you. I have no idea if that’s even a possibility, so I can understand if it’s not workable. We can come up with something else.
Mary Catherine, I will write more very soon, and when you call please call collect.
Love in Jesus,
Gina

Subject: RE: Hello GREETING FROM THE HOUSE OF THE LORD
Date: Wed, 16 Sep 2009 03:38:58 -0700
From: petersmith43@yahoo.com
To: regina@email.com
hello ms regina
thanks for the mail …..am very happy to hear this from you please go ahead and pay the money, so that the puppies can be shipped to you early, and i want to tell that port harcourt is far to lagos where i leave and my wife said i should tell you that she is thanking you for the love you are showing for the puppies my wife said may GOD give you the strength to to take care of bobby and prissy because it is yours now.
may God bless you in abundantly
Rev Smith

And the money’s off – to where?

Fees have been wired?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Wed 9/16/09 6:07 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Good morning, Reverend Smith,
And I do believe it is indeed a good morning! I think the arrangements with the Sisters will help all of us out tremendously. I have wired the money to Mary Catherine, but it may be a while before she can even acknowledge the wire.
Since I have no idea where she is in Africa, may I impose upon you to attempt contact and see if you can arrange to receive the fees? If this does not seem workable, which I sincerely hope it is, then all of this was for nothing. But knowing Sister Mary Catherine, we call her Sister Mary Kay, as I do, she will try to walk to where you are to make sure things are done right.
Please let me know if you hear from her. I don’t know if you got her email address, but the email for her order is sister@mbuzu.com.
May the good Lord bless you for your tireless efforts. You are indeed doing the hard part while I sit in an easy chair nursing my leg. I know Mary Kay is going to be doing a lot as well, and that is why I made sure I sent along a little bit more as a donation to the convent.
Believe it or not, I have already re-arranged the utility room for the pups’ bed and food bowl. I can almost see them playing in there now! I wish they were here already.
Please let me know if you have the first sign of difficulty with anything. I know it’s complicated, and I didn’t mean for you to go to any extra trouble. I just feel more comfortable this way.
Peace in Jesus, the One who saves,
Regina

Why her? Why not me? I’m a full reverend – she’s just a nun!

Subject: god will be with you and your family
Date: Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:22:43 -0700
From: petersmith43@yahoo.com
To: regina@email.com
hello regina
pls regina why can,t you go and wire the money your self and give me the comfirmation of the wire number.
you no why i said so ,is that in my missionary work i can,t just live the missionary to port harcourt to recive the money and they do not allow visitor to visit us here .
pls is better you send the money your self and give the wire number .
because your dog are feeling they should have been with you .
god will be with you and your family
Rev Smith

OK, he’s convinced the old lady is crazy, so he’s going to appeal to the woman doing the Lord’s work. ‘Hey, we’re in the same business!’

Subject: Re: Greetings
From: Peter Smith <petersmith43@yahoo.com>
Date: Wed, Sep 16, 2009 at 2:45 PM
To: Mary Catherine <sister@mbuzu.com>
hello mary
greeting from the house of they lord i think you know that in our missionary work that they do not allow us to go to any state with out any mission more over i had aready told ms regina that am not the one to recive the money that the money most be sent to the shipping company i can give their contact email address so that you can email them about whereyou will need to pay the money which is ms regina trasfered to worldwide_deliveryservice06@yahoo.com because i head already told the shipper in charge of shipping the dogs to her that ms regina is send the money today ,i told them immediatly they recived the money that they should procced the shipping immediatly
to the address she provided i know right now that the shipping company will be waiting for her to email them
thanks and god bless you and ms regina the love you are showing for the puppies
rev Smith

Oh snap. Sister Mary Catherine can’t come to the email right now, may I take a message?

Subject: Greetings
From: Mary Catherine <sister@mbuzu.com>
Date: Wed, Sep 16, 2009 at 10:47 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Rev smith,
I am Sister Mary Anthony of the Sisters of Mercy in Onne, Port Harcourt. Please pardon my English as I am not form your country and am from Pune, India. I am hoping this letter reaches you as Sister Mary catherne has given me instructions to follow to send it to you.
Sister Mary Cathrine has received moneys that i have picked up from her relative in the United states. Part of the moneys is to go for the convent and school here but part of it is to go to you for dogs. Please do not send dogs to us as we cannot feed them and i told Sister Mary Catherine that we cannot.
I do not know what to do with money if you need to come and get it or send for it. please let me know how to do it. For now I will bring it back to the convent with me and give it to Sister Mary Cathrine for her to hold.
If you need to know where we live it is near Port Onne near the warehouse on ChurchHill st. If you come by the train then you must take station road to King Creek. I would say to take King Creek and follow turns and it will become Churchill st. The convent is a white house about 2.5 kilometers on Chruchhill. Perhaps if you ask the people they will tell you where the sisters live. All the people are very nice and know who we are and they see me ride the bicycle and smile at me every day.
When you past all the warehouses we are in the very next neighbordhood on the right side of the road.There are no numbers to go by in this part of the village so sorry to tell you that you must ask. The sign for the convent is on the front gate if you should come. Please be careful down this road as it has becom quite busy now and truck travel there night and day.
Like i said before, please do not bring dogs as we have no place for them and the people in the neighbors will not look kindly on the dogs being there.
Much love in Christ Jesus and be safe in your journeys.
Sister Mary Anthony

Now this was difficult. Do you know how hard it is to use bad grammar? I based the above on a random sampling of ninth grade English essays. I think they were graded on the curve.

Subject: Re: Greetings
From: Peter Smith <petersmith43@yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 4:31 AM
To: Mary Catherine <sister@mbuzu.com>
hello
pls did you no what i can send any body to
you is better you send the money back to the western union and give back th e wire number pls because ms rigina said she is very sad abouth the money she gave to you
that you give me .
pls send the back to the westert union and giv me thye wire number.
Rev Smith

I did a bad, bad thing.

RE: god will be with you and your family?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Wed 9/16/09 1:22 PM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Oh my! I must have misunderstood what you said. I have already wired the money to the convent in Port Harcourt, and I have just learned from Western Union that the money was collected and signed for by Sr. Mary A. Runjani. I sent instructions for her to contact you!
Oh no, I am afraid that this is not a good thing. I sent her over $800, with $100 of it dedicated to the convent where they work. It is all I have available to me right now, and now I feel just terrible. I am very, very sad now that all of this has happened the way it has. I thought she might have been close to you. She said she was only 450 meters from Lagos, and I think that’s not very far. Is it that much of a problem for you to travel there? Do you know anybody who can go there? Do they have roads in that part of Africa? I am afraid that my ignorance of the area has really caused a lot of problems.
It’s not that I didn’t trust sending the money to just anyone, but I knew that Mary Catherine would do everything she could to make sure the money goes to the right place.
Now I am in fear for the puppies’ lives, and it’s mostly my fault. I am so sorry this all happened.
I will try to contact Mary Catherine again and see if she has a solution. If you have any ideas please let me know.
I know I’ll probably never see that money again, but if there was a way I could get it back and give it to you I would. The convent will feel very bad if they have to keep the money, too, because they know it was not intended for them.
Please let me know what I can do.
Yours in Jesus, the Risen Savior and source of our salvation from whom all good things come and will come forever and ever. Amen,
Regina

I’ve noticed that she gets long-winded in her closings.

Subject: RE: god will be with you and your family
Date: Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:19:08 -0700
From: petersmith43@yahoo.com
To: regina@email.com
hello
you no i have told you in the fist time that you should send the money directly to me but you said that you will send it directly to mary .
this the only way i can help you out ,call sister mary that she should send the money back to the Western Union and email me the wire number,
so that i can get the money because the puppies they are feeling they should have been with you .
did you no what give me the wire number you gave to sister mary
or maybe you email are to send you the money throug Western Union back and give you the wire number.
that is the only way i can help you out ,and for that one said that may be i have some one to get the from her .
i don,t no anyone in lagos here ecespt the people we are working in the missionary that i no .
even due i send them, they wont go because i the missionary work we do allowed to go
out.
may god be with you and your family
Rev Smith

Golly, the money was right there. I mean, right there! And poof! The nuns got it.

RE: god will be with you and your family?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Thu 9/17/09 6:50 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Dear Reverend Smith,
I am afraid that I have done all I can on this end. I have sent instructions to Sr. Mary Anthony and Sr. Mary Catherine to use the money for their good works in their mission. I am sorry for all of the misunderstanding, and my heart is heavy that the dogs will not have a happy home here.
I finished drying my tears from last night. I saw the doggie beds in the utility room and began crying uncontrollably. I have now resolved myself to accept that I will not have Bobby and Prissy. But I have decided to go to the local animal shelter and adopt a dog or two to take their place.
Please retrieve your puppies from the shipping company and keep them with you. Keep them safe.
I am sorry that this did not work out between us.
May the peace that is Jesus find you and keep you all the days of your life.
Regina

Well, if she can’t have the puppies at least the nuns will be happy. Will their happiness cause “Rev.” to take action?

Subject: PLEASE MS REGINA PLEASE SAVE THE LIFE OF BOBBY AND PRISSY
Date: Thu, 17 Sep 2009 08:50:02 -0700
From: petersmith43@yahoo.com
To: regina@email.com
hello ms regina
thanks for the mail….i think you do not understand what am saying what i mean is that the place i leave is far from port harcourt and where we are leave we are stranger theie because we ame for a missionary work for me to send any body it is a risky idea for me because if any thing happen to him i will be found responsible for it please ms regina we are depended on please you are the only person who is sent from the lord to save the puppies life now remember that you promised to take good care and pay for their air fee why thinking back now the need your assistant please am bleding on there behalf please save the life of prissy and bobby .and please email sister mary to trasfer the money threw western union by the name rev smth or the shipper in charger which is mr don potts by the below information,please you can tell to email me so that i can give her the information detail where she will send the money thanks and my bless you.
may god reward you for saving there life amen
yours sincerely
Rev Smith

Looks like he’s pretty scared of Port Harcourt. And his partner in crime doesn’t want to go either. I like his subject title. The dogs! The dogs! Oh no! The humanity!

RE: PLEASE MS REGINA PLEASE SAVE THE LIFE OF BOBBY AND PRISSY?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Thu 9/17/09 12:50 PM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Rev. Smith,
I don’t think you understand. I’ve already sent the money. I told the Sisters that if they cannot find a way to get the money to you in an easy way to just keep it for the convent. Knowing Sister Mary Kay, she will set aside a good portion of it for you, but I don’t think she has the ability or desire to wire it anywhere in the country. She told me she did not like using wire services for money.
I’m sorry it’s ending this way, but it appears there is nothing else I can do. You can try to see if one of the Sister could help you, but I know it’s very difficult in reaching them.
Good luck in your travels.
Regina T

Look, I’ve don all I can do. The money’s gone. The pups aren’t coming. What do you want me to do?

Subject: Re: HELP US OUT PLS………
From: Mary Catherine <sister@mbuzu.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 2:58 PM
To: Peter Smith <petersmith43@yahoo.com>
Father Smith,
I am almost finished with my shift at the hospital. I begged Dr. Winidapu to use his phone one more time to to check my email. I assumed you had sent me a response. I do know that the distance to Lagos from here is very far and I told that to my aunt.
You just arrived in this country, so let me warn you how dangerous it is to use wire services to send money. Unscrupulous people can steal the number from your email or regular mail and take the money before you get there. I sent Sr. Anthony yesterday by bicycle to get the money. Western Union took almost $100 just to give us the money. I think my aunt is no longer interested in the puppies, and I’m sure it pains her heart.
She has instructed me to use the money I have received for the work of the Lord here in Onne. I would love to share with you, but I have no reliable way to get the money to you.
I am sorry that the dogs will be in ill health, but the beautiful people who are sick and suffering could use the money much better.
Peace in Christ,
Sr. Mary Catherine

Father Smith? Looks like she’s blinded by the Lord’s work. Did he notice the slip? Of course, not. Did he notice the doctor’s name? Does he know the doctor’s is accompanied by Nurse Pigglte and Doctor Eeyhore? Damn, now the nuns have ALL the money. Now what?

Subject: HELP US OUT PLS………
From: Peter Smith <petersmith43@yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 12:51 PM
To: Mary Catherine <sister@mbuzu.com>
hello ms mary
do you know that lagos is far to port horcourt and i will like you to trasfer the money threw western unoin so that the puppies can be shipped to ms regina because she is the only person that can save the life of this puppies so the need ms regina help now please help me to pled on there behalf to ms regina tell if she can deposit the $350
my wife will dopsite the rest because of the wealther hear is very bad for ther heath so,i will like you to get the money very fast. my children are crying they do not want the puppies to die in this bad wealther, i will like to now how much you can afford so that my wife and i can pay the rest of the money to make sure that babies can ship out of this country
may the gloiry of the god be with you

Look, dude, all your fake moneyz is belong to us! Now I’m getting tired of this game. Let’s go ahead and let the guy off light – or not!

Subject: Western Union 4340487876
From: Mary Catherine <sister@mbuzu.com>
Date: Fri, Sep 18, 2009 at 9:21 AM
To: Peter Smith <petersmith43@yahoo.com>, andrewmark100@gmail.com, worldwide_deliveryservice06@yahoo.com
Mr. “SMITH” et al:
This is official notification of a federal and international investigation into wire corruption charges against you and related parties in your latest venture to secure funds from a “Ms. Regina T” and her relatives.
Your recent attempt on 1 Sept 2009 to secure funds from wire transaction Western Union 4340487876 was noted by authorities in Lagos, Nigeria on that same date. Since that time you and your affiliates have been kept under observation by a team of investigators. Had you noticed the gentleman in the yellow shirt near the window at the Internet cafe on 16 Sept 2009 you would have seen camera surveillance of your actions.
This is your only warning to not dispute the charges and to peacefully comply with the arresting officers upon their arrival. You will be given the opportunity to arrange for counsel after your arrest, but it is recommended that you do so prior to incarceration so as to arrange for a defense.
Mike Mbama mbuzu
ITPL FC1 Agent

Oh no! Busted! Who is this agent? Don’t know, don’t care. All he knows is that the jig is up. Now the fallout.

Subj: How awful?
From: Regina T (regina@email.com)
Sent: Fri 9/18/09 7:25 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Dear Mr Smith or whoever you are. How dare you! I just received a visit from two gentlemen this morning who told me that you are nothing but a lie! How dare you!
I trusted you with not only money, but my faith and the care of the puppies. Now I doubt that the puppies even existed! How dare you!
You must be the lowest of the low to make an old lady spend money she does not have. I know there is a special place in hell for people like you. They said that you will be arrested soon. I am sad to see that happen to anyone, but if it means that another elderly person does not lose money then that is what will have to happen.
I hope you never write another soul again for a long time.
You have a black heart, Mr. Smith. You are a liar and a cheat and I do not see how you can go to sleep at night. I hope you stay in jail long enough to realize what you have done is wrong.

Ms. Regina is too kind to rub salt in a wound. But it appears that the good doctor isn’t.

Excellent! You’re toast!?
From: Lance V (lance.V@email.com)
Sent: Fri 9/18/09 10:32 AM
To: petersmith43@yahoo.com
Hey Peter, this is Dr. V. I’m glad that you finally got your due.
I was contacted by the authorities around the first of the month that you were angling to get some money from one of my patients. Fortunately, they gave her a phony Western Union number as a tracking number. Whoever claimed that number would be told that there were no funds, but the clerks were supposed to make note of who used that number. It was traced to Lagos, Nigeria, so I’m assuming that it where you are.
Once they knew who you were they simply followed you to the Internet cafes. After you logged off they logged on the computer and were able to download all of your correspondence not only with me and Ms. Terry, but with an agent in Lagos claiming to be a nun. They were hoping you’d make the trip to Port Harcourt where the authorities would have apprehended you, however, I was told there is more than enough evidence from the emails to do you in.
I was happy to comply with the agents knowing they would be putting a pig like you in the hole. It’s right where you deserve to be. Next time, try to use English if you claim to be from America, except next time will be 20 years according to the agents.
Worst of luck to you.
LV

The lesson to be learned? Don’t mess with a bored online guy.

• Getting the call
• The real cold shoulder

Categories: What was I thinking?

Tags: classified ads, email scam, Lagos, Nigerian, puppies, puppy scam, scam, Western Union

2 replies ›

1. 

   Alan

   December 13, 2009 • 10:42 pm

   That was a scream. What is it with Nigerians?

   Alan
2. 

   Tom Coleman

   September 15, 2014 • 2:08 pm

   I neglected to add the postscript. I’ve heard a few times from Pastor Smith, and he has a strange way of saying “bless you.” He uses another verb, which, frankly, is biologically impossible.

   Every so often, Dr. V. will email him asking how the puppies are. I haven’t received a response in months. If I do, I’ll be sure to include it here.